i am a man
i am standing in a crowded ballroom in what feels like a very exspensive hotel
surrounded by what feels like very wealthy people... like myself.
in the crowd i am aware of two others amidst the strangers.
one is a beautiful woman. the most beautiful woman i have ever seen... i think she was wearing navy a navy blue gown...
the other is a man wearing a red suit.
his skin is also red *(when i woke up and remembered the dream i remembered him like the yellow demon from sin city)
he is also watching the beautiful woman.
i leave with the beautiful woman we go back to my room... remember i am still a man.
im lying with her on my bed in my very small hotel room when we realize that the red man is under the bed.
i dont know how we knew we just did.
i turned and saw a drop like blood on the white sheet
i thought "blood" but i heard my man's dream voice say "a tear."
i reached down and under the bed and pulled the crying red man by the hair out from under the bed.
the woman and i ran out into the hall.
there were many people in the hall
they had a just-left-the-party feeling to them.
now the woman is gone or maybe i am her
because now i am a woman
though still not quite myself...
i am running through the black tie event dressed people
away from the red man
i am holding a baby girl
i run to a room
in the room i give the baby to a man who i know will protect her
then i leave the room and go back to hall
i see the red man waiting patiently in a group of people and yell back to the room for them to lock their door
i hear them lock it.
im sitting on a couch in a small house that has a beach house feeling to it
the house and the room are very crowded
i dont remember the begining of the dream
but i remember that a woman (who was a mix of my mom, meryl streep, signorey weaver and a million other women that i know and actress that ive seen) was shooting at me.
she shot me in the leg and the neck... she was also shooting the girl next to me.
the girl next to me got a bullet in the chest or the stomach and went still
the lady was still shooting at my arms and legs so i turned to that she would shoot me in the heart and it would all end.
i remember just being frustrated that she wouldnt aim better.
she shot me in the head and then stopped.
i sat back on the couch and tried to feel what i felt.
the woman seemed to be patient and calm enough to wait for me to die.
i was thinking about the whole situation when my dream minded started to wobble and i felt a bit drunk...
i remember linking this to being shot in the head.
*in real life i have just finished the book "illusions" which is about a man, richard who is taught a lot of lessons by another man who is actually a mesiah. the mesiah's name is donald shimoda.
in my dream, as my brain began to get wobbley i grapsed onto the thought of donald shimoda telling the richard that the whole world is an illusion and we have complete control over what we choose to make real.
as i died...
in my dream i decided that i didnt want to die and that if donald shimoda thought it was possible i was going to try to not die.
i turned to a calm man sitting next to me and told him i would like to go to the emergency room and try to survive.
he looked tawords the kitchen where the woman was and said that he thought i should ask her.
the girl next to me who was also not dead said that her mom worked in the ER and that she had to go there anyway to visit her mom
she said it would be no trouble for her to take me there.
i got up and went to ask the woman
she smiled when she saw me and said that me standing up had caused my head to bleed even more and that i was surely going to die even quicker if i bothered to get to the car and get to the ER.
so she let me go
completly convinced that i would die on the way
the man and the girl packed gauze onto my head and i held it there and i got into the car and then i woke up.