A man with my brother’s voice and the empty eyes
that boys have behind sunglasses,
invisible pretending to be innocent
eyes, is sitting on my back.
His eyes reflect me back to me,
reflect a silver warped me, like sunglasses.
and each time he blinks I disappear
and reappear with more makeup and
a tighter bra and higher heels, and
thinner legs and then he blinks again
and I'm me again but then he looks away.
And “look at me!” I say but when he does
I see myself in his eyes again in that awful wrong way.
And my best friend called me last night.
he said he missed me but I didn’t believe
him since he's busy dating my best friend.
“you stay with me.” I told her weeks ago
“ill keep providing you with my men.”
We drive to Florida, they and I,
My men and my friend who falls in love with my men.
We drive for hours to Florida behind our sunglasses
Behind the tinted windows
We watch the night
where the production plants in new jersey twinkle
like so many tiny windows into a dwarf city
Where so many tiny furnaces are glowing golden
In the backseat my friend and my man look at each other
in the front seat my man and I say
that the power plant looks to us like a dwarf city
Or maybe we just ride in silence
and the lights reflect in our mirrored lenses
while we think the same thoughts and
smile with our lips together
while we already know what we’re thinking.
And in Florida the house is made of glass
And my friend and I stare at the stars
Lying on our backs in the sand
And we hand understanding back and forth like favors.
the featureless forms of the boys
walk away from us down the beach
“I promise I understand.” We say
like favors, like the men I give her,
lend her… Like the words he gives me