After Reading Him His Story

Sometimes I should keep some of my guts to myself.
Keep them inside me so that I can use them for the things that guts are used for.
Sometimes I think theyre communal property
Sometimes I think they belong to the ones who gave them to me,
Just because you cooked for me doesn’t mean I should hand you my vomit.
Just because you spoke words and danced your cinematic choreography does not mean you have the rights to my screenplays.
Sometimes I should keep some guts to myself.
Other wise late at night when I sit inside myself I have nothing to hold onto…
Because its all be spread out like butter onto the tiny cracked crackers in different countries…
I give a bit of it to you and it becomes less real to me and I wonder why I feel empty after I’ve handed it out to every stranger who I pass.
I need some of this angst to keep me oiled, keep me turning.
I need to hold this in my fingers like slime and see it seep through the cracks where my folded hands cant keep the air out.
Sometimes I think I should lie.
I should lie so that the truth feels sharper when its truth.
If theres nothing but truth than it doesn’t matter.
If theres nothing but white-
Over exposed
Under exposed.
We need balance
We need lies.
I need lies.
That’s the truth.
I always tell the truth.